Timon & Pumbaa plus Shenzi- Don't Be Elfish
by Brainyxbat
Summary: Timon wants a video game for Christmas. So he, Shenzi and Pumbaa get jobs at the mall, Pumbaa being Santa and Timon and Shenzi being elves. Timon makes kids meet his every need or they won't get to talk to Santa. Then one of Santa's elves shows up and tells Timon he's on the naughty list. So Timon desperately tries to get on the nice list with Shenzi's help to get his video game.


**Timon & Pumbaa + Shenzi **

Don't be Elfish 

"Granny's Christmas Fruitcake is on sale in the lobby," Somebody announced, as Timon, Pumbaa, and Shenzi were admiring a video game display that kids were playing with behind a store window in the mall, and the song "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" was playing on repeat.

"Look at that, guys," Pumbaa said, "It's the new Vincenzo 64!" Suddenly on the TV screen, a rocket looked like it was heading for the trio, so they screamed and ducked down in fear, before popping back up.

"We… must… _have_ it!" Timon decided.

"Uh…" Shenzi tapped his shoulder to get his attention, and pointed at the price tag for the game. Timon gasped when he saw it; The price turned out to be $10,000,000.

"We'll never be able to afford _that_ thing!" He exclaimed.

"That's it, guys! Look!" Pumbaa grabbed his pint-sized pals, and ran to a sign. ""Wanted immediately: Mall Santa,"" He read, ""No experience necessary." Ooh, let's volunteer!"

"I'm in," Shenzi smiled.

"And I would do this, _why?_" Timon said, and Shenzi smacked his arm in annoyance. "Ow!"

"Timon!" She exclaimed.

"Playing Santa for little kids will show the real Santa how good we are," Pumbaa explained, "And then he'll _have_ to give us our present! Come on, Timon! What do you say?"

"I…" Timon started before they started heading for the office.

"Yay!" Pumbaa exclaimed happily, as they headed to the main office to volunteer.

"Hey!"

"Granny's Christmas fruitcake is still on sale in the lobby," The announcer said again.

* * *

><p>Pumbaa came out of the dressing room in his Santa costume. "What luck! Santa's gonna bring us a present! Santa's gonna bring us a pre…" He chanted excitedly, before Timon and Shenzi came out in their elf costumes.<p>

Timon's consisted of only a shirt, belt curled-up shoes, and a hat with elf ears. His shoes and hat each had a gold jingling bell. Shenzi had the same hat and shoes, but she had green tights on, and a pretty, green and white dress, with a dark green belt with a gold buckle just above the flowy, petticoat skirt, and green ruffles with white trim on the shoulders. Plus her hat had a little green bow on the left side.

"I only agreed to do this for the paycheck, so we could buy that toy!" The meerkat exclaimed angrily. He was embarrassed about how he looked in his costume; but Shenzi actually liked hers, so she was fine with it. "This stuff is a load of malarkey," He muttered before pulling Pumbaa's beard, snapping it back, then walking away.

"Santa's gonna bring us a present!" Pumbaa started chanting again, with Shenzi joining him, "Santa's gonna bring us a present!" They skipped away after Timon, with the hyena's bells jingling.

* * *

><p>"Hear ye, hear ye," Timon started in a bored tone, reading off of a scroll, as he was sitting in Santa's chair. Shenzi was standing next to it, irritated by his dullness. "I bring oh so happy tidings of…"<p>

"_Christmas!_" A choir suddenly sang, badly startling Timon and Shenzi. Timon got rolled up in the scroll in surprise, and he tore it up a bit to get out.

"You could _WARN_ a guy!" He glared, before clearing his throat and continuing. "'Tis time to bid thee welcome to… oy… jolly old Saint Nicholas."

'I_ should've been the one to announce his presence,_' Shenzi thought, '_I'd actually have emotion._'

"Hello, boys and girls, one and all!" Pumbaa came out from behind the chair, "Ho, ho, ho!" He sat in the chair after Timon jumped off of it, landing next to Shenzi. "Timon! Shenzi!" Pumbaa nudged them, getting their attention, "You're supposed to keep the kids in line entertained, and happy!"

"Oh, r-right!" Shenzi smiled in realization, "Thank you, Pumbaa!"

"Here come the happy… Chr-r-ristmas elves!" He announced as Shenzi walked, and Timon was scooted, over to the cheering, excited kids.

As soon as Timon opened the line, he and Shenzi were trampled by the first kid as he ran over to Pumbaa. "Back!" Timon and Shenzi held back the next kid, who tried to run over as well, in the line with a struggle, "Get back!" The meerkat closed the line again.

"Can I talk to Santa now?" The kid asked excitedly, and repeatedly. "Can I talk to Santa now? Can I talk to Santa now? Now? How about now? Can I talk to him now? Now? Now can I meet Santa? Is it my turn? Now? Now?"

An irritated Timon took out his cue card and read off it in a monotonous tone. "No, but you are next. Here is a candy cane, you good little boy or girl," He held out a candy cane, as Shenzi rolled her eyes at his dullness.

"Can I talk to Santa now?" The kid asked again for what seemed like the millionth time.

"Not yet," Timon stuffed the candy cane in his mouth, before stuffing another in, "Eat your stinkin' candy."

"How about now?"

"No!" Timon stuffed another candy cane in his mouth.

"Now?"

"No!"

"Now?"

"No!" Timon snapped, before he started pulling on his scarf in aggravation, as Shenzi widened her eyes in surprise.

Pumbaa gasped in shock when he saw what was happening; he grabbed a big candy cane decoration, walked up, hit Timon on the head with it, making him stop, then went back to his seat. "Next child, please!"

"I want a racecar set! I want a racecar set!" The kid started saying repeatedly, as Timon opened the line, resulting in him and Shenzi being trampled again, before he closed it again. "I want a racecar set! I want a racecar set! I want a racecar set!"

"I just _love_…" Timon started.

"_Christmas!_" The choir sang again, making Shenzi and the meerkat shoot up in the air in surprise. Timon landed face-down, as Shenzi landed in front of him, before a piece of the ceiling landed on Timon's head, so it was around his neck. Plus, Timon's hat landed on Shenzi's face.

"I want a racecar set! I want a racecar set! I want a racecar set!"

"Okay," Pumbaa finished writing it down, "That's 3 racecar sets!"

"Thank you, Santa!" The kid exclaimed happily, "Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

"Next child, please!"

Timon opened the line again, but moved himself and Shenzi out of the way before the girl could trample them. "Ha, you missed!" He exclaimed, before the girl ran to the line, trampling them to grab her teddy bear, before running back to Pumbaa, running over them again. "D'oh, you little…" Timon muttered in pain, as he stood up, and brushed himself off. Shenzi did the same, but stayed silent.

"Be sure to pick up a dolly go potty, they're going fast," The announcer said, as Timon and Shenzi put their hats back on. All the while, a little girl, who was next in line, was clapping her hands slowly. The irritated meerkat walked over with Shenzi, and grabbed the girl's wrists.

"Is that _NECESSARY?_" He hissed.

"Look at the cute little elves! Let's play!" She giggled, before grabbing their hand/paw, and spinning around with them.

"And a car, and a horsy," A little boy wearing a business suit was listing off his requests to Pumbaa, "And my very own condo. Will you remember that, Santa?"

"Sure will!"

"I made this for you, Santa," The boy gave Pumbaa a drawing of him, "I love you!" He hugged him happily before walking away.

Meanwhile, the little girl had Timon and Shenzi each tied to a doll chair, with a little table. Timon was wearing a big pink hat with yellow flowers and red lipstick, while Shenzi had a black top hat, and a fake mustache.

"I'm really starting to get fed up with…" Timon started, yet was interrupted.

"_Christmas!_" The choir sang for the 3rd time that day, making the two shoot up out of their bonds, and knock the table over.

"Next child, please!" Pumbaa called out, before Timon and Shenzi landed back in the chairs.

"I want a dolly go potty! I want a dolly go potty!" The girl started saying repeatedly.

"Oh, excuse me," Her mother turned to Timon and Shenzi, "I want to get a picture of my daughter with Santa. Could you hold my baby, please?" She put her baby, who was surprisingly smaller than Timon, in his lap. Almost immediately, the baby started crying, as the tiny duo cringed and covered their ears.

"I want a toy oven, and a fuzzy puppy, and a dolly that goes potty!" The girl told Pumbaa.

"Can you read that back to me, please?" Pumbaa asked the secretary, who was using a typewriter.

"Toy oven, fuzzy puppy, and a dolly that goes potty," She said dully.

"Oh, you are an _angel_, Santa," The girl's mother smiled, as she picked up her daughter, "Say, what's your _real_ name?" She asked quietly, and he whispered it in her ear. "Well then, it's official; I'm gonna name my baby "Pumbaa.""

Shenzi had her eyebrows raised up in surprise, hearing it all, before the baby started crying again, as she and Timon cringed again. "Don't cry, kid," Timon said, "This is the happiest time of year! It's…!"

"_Christmas!_" The choir interrupted him again. He and Shenzi jumped up again, as Timon accidentally threw the baby in the air, which unfortunately the mother saw.

"Ohh!" She exclaimed in terror as she caught her baby, "You incompetent gnomes!" She glared at them, before hitting them upside their heads with her purse, making Shenzi fall to the floor, before walking away in a huff.

"That's _elves_, lady!" Timon called out to her, as Shenzi sat up.

* * *

><p>A while later, Timon and Shenzi were still managing the line, as they had ice packs on their heads instead of their hats.<p>

"How come I have to do…" Timon started grumbling, before he saw a boy trying to cut to the front of the line, "Hey, no cuts!" He snapped, before continuing his rant, "This stinking job? Why can't _I_ be the Santa?" Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the same kid attempting to cut in front again, "Hey, no cuts! I _said_ no cuts!" He glared, as the kid went back to the back of the line.

But a second later, he made another attempt. "If you don't get back in line, I'm gonna tell Santa to give you nothing for Christmas except a gift certificate to _the Homework Store! _**_AND THAT GOES FOR ALL OF YA!_**" He shouted in aggravation, as Shenzi eyes widened at his outburst, and to his surprise, it actually worked. "Say, _that _was effective," He said to himself, "I foresee some changes around here."

"Oh no," Shenzi mumbled to herself.

* * *

><p>Later, he had started enslaving the children; they had to file his nails, comb his hair, fan him, and give him food and refreshments. An extremely annoyed Shenzi had to open the line when it was the next kid's turn to talk to Pumbaa.<p>

"I feel perseveres all of a sudden," He said, "Okay sweet pea, let the next one go." Shenzi huffed in annoyance, blowing one of her bangs up a bit at the new pet name, as she opened the line. A boy, who was first in line, came up to the small couch that Timon was laying in. "5 bucks, cough it up," He said dully, holding out his hand. Shenzi rolled her eyes, as the boy took out a $5 bill, and gave it to the meerkat, as Timon ate a cupcake given to him by a little girl.

"What, no cookies?" He glared at the shivering girl, "The line is officially closed until someone brings me cookies!" Shenzi slapped her forehead in aggravation, as the girl ran off to get some.

"Why do we have to do this?" Another girl asked him as she was wiping his face.

"I'm wondering the same thing," The hyena piped up, intentionally being loud enough for the meerkat to hear.

"Because, you little tortin'-climber, if _you_ schmooze _me_, _I_ tell Santa you're okay, but if you _don't_, I say the word, and _you_ get _no_ goodies. Got it?"

Shenzi shook her head in irritation, as the other girl returned with a plate of chocolate chip cookies. "There are your snacks, your Highness," She grumbled to herself.

"I _specifically_ requested those poufy marshmallow cookies," Timon claimed, as Shenzi whipped around to face him; she didn't remember hearing him say that. "You don't get to see Santa, _ever._" The hyena's jaw dropped down in aghast, as the girl started sniffling.

"_Of course_ you get to see Santa!" Pumbaa told her, as she cheered up, before he glared at Timon. "Timon, I _hope_ the _real_ Santa will forgive you, but I _doubt_ it," He berated before walking away to his seat with the girl.

Suddenly in a little white tornado of snow, a real elf appeared! Shenzi gasped a bit in surprise, as he walked up to the meerkat. "Ooh, nice entrance, shorty," Timon said, not knowing who he really was. "Now, back in the line! Unless you want to give me a foot rub."

"I am here to deliver a message from the Big Man," The elf told him, and Shenzi widened her eyes in surprise.

"Ooh, the big man," Timon mocked, misunderstanding, "You mean Roger Rebert is mad at me? Say it ain't so!"

"Yeah, that's funny," The elf smirked before jumping on the couch. "Mr. Claus feels you are making the franchise look bad."

"Oh yeah?" Timon stood up, "Well, this franchise is independently under-operated! Now, why don't you go decorate a lawn somewhere?" Shenzi squeezed her eyes shut and slapped her forehead.

"Okay, that's it! Youse no longer nice!" The elf exclaimed.

"You're saying this _now?_" Shenzi said dully, rolling her eyes.

"Yes, sweet pea," The elf nodded. The hyena growled a bit under her breath in aggravation. 'What_ is up with guys calling me that?!_' She thought angrily, as the elf took a scroll out, and skimmed it. "Oh, no need," He chuckled, "You're already on _'dis_ list." Timon simply rolled his eyes, before the elf disappeared in another snow tornado.

"Timon, Timon! That was a real elf!" Pumbaa exclaimed, as he ran to the couch, "And that scroll was _the_ list! Timon, he said you weren't nice, so that means you're on…" He paused in horror, "… the _naughty_ list!" The elf appeared again on a reindeer decoration hanging from the mall's ceiling.

"Believe it," He smiled before disappearing again. One of the reindeer's heads fell off, and landed on the couch right next to Timon, who jumped on Pumbaa's head, and Shenzi joined them.

"Guys, there _is_ a Santa Claus!" Timon exclaimed, "And I must have always been on his naughty list! That's why I never got any presents!" Shenzi refrained from rolling her eyes. "I gotta get on that nice list. Pumbaa, Shenzi, I am gonna get into the Christmas spirit; I'm gonna give 'til it hurts!"

"I'll help you," The hyena smiled.

* * *

><p>"There's no more dollies that go potty!" A young girl was crying, "There's no more dollies…"<p>

"Oh, yes there is!" Shenzi, who was in a male employee disguise with a fake mustache, as Timon came up in a long pink dress, and a curly blonde wig.

"A dolly!" The girl smiled, as she hugged Timon tightly, before a crowd started fighting over him.

"We need someone to help direct traffic!" An announcer said, so Timon and Shenzi went out in the parking lot to do just that. Unfortunately, Timon kept getting run over by cars, much to Shenzi's shock. "We need help with gift wrap!" The announcer said, so the two went back inside.

At the gift-wrapping table, the duo were about to wrap a present for a woman, but there wasn't enough paper. So Timon selflessly shaved off his fur, and used that as a substitute. Shenzi handed him his elf costume to keep him warm, as he was shivering.

"Will someone _please_ buy some of Granny's fruitcake?!" The announcer exclaimed, as Timon and Shenzi ran over to the fruitcake stand, where Timon ate one of them in one bite. That, and Shenzi's gesturing, drew a crowd at the stand. They started walking away, satisfied with their actions, but the elderly lady, who owned the stand, glared down at them.

But she just patted their heads pleasantly after Timon swallowed the fruitcake whole. At the escalators, the big Christmas tree was starting to fall due to one of its supports breaking, so the duo ran over, and tried to hold it up, but the tree fell over.

* * *

><p>Later, Pumbaa was outside the mall, waiting for the duo to get finished. "What else can we do?" Timon asked him, as he and Shenzi walked up. "Gotta be nice, for once! What else?"<p>

"We're all done!" Pumbaa told them, "Here're your checks, guys." He handed his pint-sized pals their paychecks, "You earned them."

"Money schmoney," Timon said, "I just want to make sure I am good and nice!" After seeing a donation booth, he and Shenzi walked over, and put their checks in the money dome. Suddenly, the elf appeared on top of the dome.

"Alright, _now_ you've done it." Timon chewed on his nails in fear. But much to his and Shenzi's surprise, he pulled out the video game! "You made the Big Man proud," He smiled, as he held it out to the little couple. But since Timon fell back in shock, Shenzi took the game for him, as he sat back up.

"You made me proud too," Shenzi smiled lovingly, "No matter how stupid you were before," She finished, as she gave him the game… and a kiss on his lips. Timon blinked his eyes intermittently with his lips puckered in surprise as she pulled away, before he fell back again.

* * *

><p>Later, the trio plus the elf were together in the mall, as Timon and the elf were playing the game.<p>

"You know, I always did believe in the spirit of…" Pumbaa started.

"_Christmas!_" The choir interrupted, making Timon and Shenzi shoot up in the air. After they landed, Timon made the rockets from the game fly out of the TV and hit the choir. Pumbaa and Shenzi gasped in shock just before the rockets exploded, leaving the choir covered in soot.

"Yeah, yeah, I know," Timon said, as Shenzi and the elf glared at him, "But I've got _all_ year to make that nice list again," He grinned widely, as Shenzi rolled her eyes.

* * *

><p><strong>(AN: Basically, this is a rewrite of the TaP episode "Don't Be Elfish." It and the original characters don't belong to me. Before you say it, I know I put this up late. Just so you know, Timon and Shenzi aren't boyfriend and girlfriend in the series. Shenzi's trying to hint to him that she likes him. It's just that he's too stupid to catch on. XD The summary is originally from the Wikipedia.)**


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